I left it just over a year ago. I was in Law Enforcement for right at about 5 years. While I was in, I was a Patrol Officer, a Detective and served in Special Operations (mainly undercover work and sting operations).

I went through a rough divorce and moved out of state (from GA to AR) to try and start over. I joined the local Police Department, but it wasn't the same. On top of that, my training officer wasn't the model officer. In fact, he made the news today so you can see he shouldn't be an officer, let alone a training officer.

http://www.4029tv.com/news/18910913/detail.html

Anyway, I've been missing it. A lot. I've remarried and my new wife likes the fact that I'm not in LE anymore. I'm home most nights (I work out of town a bit) and every weekend and holiday. I don't want to worry her and the Job was a big reason my last wife left.

Anyway, just thought I would share with some people who might actually understand it. My family and friends don't really get it.

I haven't made it to the street yet other than riding out which I have gotten into things riding with the officers and had to help them acting under their direction.

But no doubt about it it's one of the careers choices you are either meant for it or you aren't. You either love it or hate it, learn to live with the shatty sides of it or grow to despise it and quit or get really bitter.

My ex wife did not understand told me under no certain circumstances would she be married to a police officer so I gave up going into the academy. Thankfully we divorced and I get to pursue my what I consider the job meant for me what I want to do. My fiance is the daughter of a retired Sgt so she understands how it will be and is perfectly ok with it.

It is something that those who aren't called to it will never understand. I even know a few cops that work it full time, that aren't called to do it, it's just a good job to them. They won't survive their career, but that's another topic entirely. No, once you've heard the calling, you have to follow it, it's almost a force of nature. You ought to do the reserve thing, if nothing else. Get in and work a bit here and there, if the career won't work out for you now.

I feel your pain, I really do. I have not at work too much this past six or seven months. I have been to work, but not "at work", my head has been in different places. I have had a medical and then personal leave. I miss work, and it has started to wear on me.

We just lost an Officer that I worked with for 10 years, I know he is one of the few that has been called on and I just don't think he realized it. He is not an Officer anymore and it is regrettable, I am hoping that force of nature Pepper mentioned will draw him back. It would be better for Him, his family and the community.

I agree getting your feet wet again by joining the reserve may keep that beast of an urge at bay.

I wish you best and thank you for sharing.

I agree totally, this is a job the that you have be willing to be cursed, spit, and sneered at daily...possibly 1000 to 1...to recieve that ONE thank you.

Either you are meant for it or not. I hate to see people who really want to do this work leave it...try reserves for a while.

Law enforcement really is a calling. After 17 years, the fire is starting to dim a little, but it's still there. I have truely been blessed with an understanding wife. If I had one piece of advice after all these years, it takes a special kind of woman to put up with this life. You have to remember that they live the life too. They are not out there on the streets, but they are the ones that are a "married single". They go to the childrens funtions when you are working late, working overtime or happened to be the one to catch the call 10 minutes before your shift is up. They are the ones sleeping alone at night. They are the ones that go to cook outs, church etc. and answer the question where is _______. It is rough on both sides.

I rambled on just to say talk to your wife. Explain what is in your heart and if after that if she's in agreement welcome back to active duty.

17 years at a dept. in the Portland, Oregon area. Bad chief, lots of politics. Glad I'm not there anymore but I really miss it cause I was really friggin' good at it. I feel you pain bro!

regulator - very well said. The understanding wife (or husband) is often overlooked. I've been married to the same lovely woman for nearly 28 yrs. We started dating when I was an MP. I've been a civilian LEO for over 27 yrs. She's put up with my work for a very long time - she's an angel...

Looks like a couple more from this area - Pepper have something to do with this, or is it just luck? I think the Oregonians are taking over slowly but surely...

hk - just luck. I don't know Pepper (of course, I've been told, that I don't know "Jack" either.....).

my fiance' and I had been together for about two years she joined a small department as a dispatcher on weekends while she was going to school then she did the reserve officer training so she could see what I do ( she would ride with that dept). I been doing this 17 yrs + and it is in the blood.....no matter what my day has been like or what time I get home if she is awake I ask her first how her day has been.....our relationship is about us not me and my job which happens too many times i have seen....when working a homicide and getting called out in the middle of the night she will get up and make me some coffe while I get dressed to go out the door.....we never leave on a bad note or with out a kiss becasue we never know when it will be our last one......it takes a special gal to put up with our calling ...more so than those who get called

When I was a rookie I used to work patrol thinking "These people are PAYING me to do this!"
After more than twenty two years I used to work patrol thinking. "These people don't pay me enough to do this!"
However since retiring I do miss the adrenalin rush from "hot" calls and the satisfaction from "good feeling" incidents.