alright, alright, i'll post it.
most of you are going to read this and scream TMI, TMI!!!!! so you have been warned. also, apologies to any ladies that read this. my story does not equate to the life threatening level thumper does, by any means. still, it's a day i'll never forget.
i was out on my 01 F4i with a buddy of mine. at that point, i was just getting to where i thought i was a pretty good rider. i was getting a bit cocky and it soon bit me in the ass.
i dipped into a tight left hand turn in the local twisties. i had hit this same turn at least 200 times in the past year. this time, for some reason, i target fixated. i probably panicked because i entered the turn too hot, but for whatever reason i got into the loose gravel on the side of the road and lost all control. i ended up running out of the road right at the apex of the turn. it just so happened that there was about a 12 foot drop off right there. not quite straight down, but close enough. the stickler of it was, right where i went down, there was a concrete culvert. i plowed it right in the center of the hole and i went from 45+ mph to 0 in the blink of an eye. it tossed me over the handlebars and i hit the ground which completely knocked the wind out of me. about 1/2 second later my bike landed upside down beside my head.
i was in a state of shock. i was afraid to try to move anything. slowly, i rolled over and was astounded that all my limbs worked. my body was still in shock from the sudden deceleration. i slowly stood up and took evaluation of myself. my clothes were dirty, but not torn anywhere, but there was this terrible pain i could not tollerate. i realized the pain was coming from my groin. i slipped my hand into my pants and withdrew it covered in blood. i flipped out. i shuffled to the edge of the woods and yanked my pants down right then and there, only to discover my scrotum was split open from front to back, and my left testicle was hanging out.
< ya know how the gas tank of a crotch rocket is really humped up right infront of you? well, imagine the force of your entire body weight throwing that tank right into your junk. yikes! >
i immediately layed down on the ground and waited almost an hour for my riding buddy to ride to where there was cell service and call for an ambulance.
at the hospital they pushed the testicle back in, and stitched me front to back.
the next day, my nut-sack was the size of a cantuolope, and black as tar. i had a tube hanging out that let excess fluid drain out. i couldn't walk for almost two weeks. it still bothers me to this day.
it did not heal up right, so i had to have surgery on it 3 months later. that sucked a nut (haha) all over again. it is basically dead, but i still have it. i never did go back and get it checked to see if it works or not. oh well, i have another one.
a funny side note...when they were wheeling me through the hospital, i was high as a kite on morphine, and there was a rather large black lady who was wheeling me around. my g/f at the time was with us also. i looked at the lady, and in my best slurred vocabulary, i pointed at my nuts and proudly asked her if those were the biggest ones she had ever seen.
when i finally got to see my bike about a week later, i was devastated all over again. i hit the culvert so hard it bent the forks hard enough to push the front tire all the way through the radiator. when the bike did a roll, it crushed everything on the nose (the nose itself, headlight, ripped off both mirrors, broke clutch and brake lever), and flipped around and almost ripped the whole subframe off. it bent my brand new Giannelli titanium exhaust up like a pretzel, but the side fairings weren't even scratched.
so yeah, that's my story. go ahead and let all the "one nut guy" jokes fly.
so as you can see, it was not life threatening, but i sure as hell thought it was a bad day. i have never heard of anyone else ever doing that, before, or since. thank God! i am thankful that i limped away as good as i did, it could have been much worse.
August 28th 2007 1:52 PM
